picture of her

Sweetheart,why do you had her picture?
I'd rather see porn stars in your cell-phone than seeing her face popping up on the screen

only three kind of women that get me intimidated...first one is your exes...the second is previous flings and obsessions and the last one is the infatuated-to-u ones.
And how am I supposed to react when I see her picture in ur cell? You once very liked her...she, who is once told 2 u is prettier, was still in the picture. I am just a woman...something like this...I can't help it...do I have to survive it? Yes, I do...because I love u. And I'm reaching a point where I think I would tolerate anything you've done. Even if you start calling or texting or chatting to someone else regularly...
U can have her picture...but let me cry for this too...cry over the fact that I still feel the pain when that person said she was prettier..

This is me...loving you...maybe not in a perfect and understanding way...but I'm willing to try. So, u can have her pictures or any other girls...I won't be flipped out.I'd keep it inside...locked out.

losing dinda...

i woke up this morning and felt terribly sad...in few hours i would do one of the hardest things to do in life...letting go.

this woman who was just taking off was and still is one of the best buddies i've ever had. it's always sad to see people you knew for years off. and as much as i am so happy to see her having this enourmous chance to study abroad, i have to survive the loss itself. it's not like i won't see her ever again, it's just that she has become part of my everyday-life since i moved to this city. her absence is an emptiness. you know you can always lean on a boyfriend or parents..but best-buddy is a saviour during the rough path. and during my hard times now and then, they have been chips in the puzzle...without one of them, the picture...ummm..i can't even call it a picture.

dinda is one the chips...

i argued all the time with people..even my boyfriend. dinda, somehow, was one of the people i scarcely argued with. dinda is the keeper...a listener, a counselor. a friend like that....you don't see quite often. when people expect me to call first, to ask them out first....dinda didn't mind to be the one to reach out for me. and sometimes, she gave me the chance to be a keeper...a listener...a counselor. for that, i will mourn the absence of a best-buddy like you.
she knew exactly how much pain i've gone through...as much as i knew hers...and that kind of connection is by far the strongest one....when you share pain with other people, you won't forget the feeling of being not-lonely.

'i hope you well...and whereever it is this road leads you too...i hope it's somewhere beautiful with lots of certainty and happiness. until we meet again....'


b.e.s.t.f.r.i.e.n.d t.i.l.l t.h.e e.n.d